


If You Give a Jim a Zoo

by TheAwkwardLadyJay



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, M/M, Zoo, dark and wil are on a date, like super subtle, nobody said they were good babysitters, subtle darkstache, the jims are fun, the jims being the jims, there's a giraffe, they're on a date i promise, while babysitting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 10:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16973169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAwkwardLadyJay/pseuds/TheAwkwardLadyJay
Summary: Dark and Wil go on a date to the zoo. The Jims tag along.





	If You Give a Jim a Zoo

**Author's Note:**

> This was a blast to reread. I was cackling while I edited it so if there were any mistakes from the tumblr version, I totally missed them.
> 
> Enjoy!

“I’m Jim and this is my associate, Jim. We have found ourselves in a new and strange place. It appears to be full of odd looking creatures, the kind of which no Jim has ever seen before! Who knows where these odd creatures come from or why they are here but my Jim senses tell me that they are up to no good. Jim and I will investigate further to discover the mystery of this odd, odd place.”

Field Reporter Jim gestured for Cameraman Jim to follow him and then he was off. Cameraman Jim tried to keep the focus on him but there was so much to see in this odd place. Large fences wrapped around the path they were walking and every time Jim peered through the wires, he was met with strange creatures that made his gut clench in horror.

Some were almost cute. They looked fluffy and had long tails that wrapped around everything they touched. It was quite adorable! But the long-tailed fluffballs had gaping maws full of large, blood-chilling fangs. And the sounds they made! They were truly horrendous, echoing around the whole area and penetrating Jim’s skull like a jackhammer.

Others, however, didn’t even try to hide their horrible natures. These creatures were a few feet away from the fluffy nightmares and they were completely covered in scales. A large pool of water sat in the middle of their land and some could be seen soaking in it. Cameraman Jim had to stop Field Reporter Jim from leaping into the pool.

“But, Jim! Hydration is important! These odd, flat, scaly creatures understand! Surely they will be willing to share some of their water with us!”

Cameraman Jim didn’t like the look in the scaly creatures’ eyes. He shook his head and gestured for Field Reporter Jim to continue onward. There must be something good in this odd place they had found themselves in. If not, they would have to work out a way to escape. Or perhaps there could be a way to blend in with some of the odd creatures. Sneaky Jim had taught him how to disguise himself as a walrus once. Blending in with these creatures couldn’t be any different, could it?

“Oh my goodness! Jim, we have finally found it! The scoop Jim and I were sent here to report! It would appear that the world is about to be taken over by a long-necked horse! Or perhaps this poor, mutated creature simply wants to set out on a lifelong journey to discover why it is so different from its equine fellows. But wait! There’s another one. Look, Jim!”

Cameraman Jim focused the camera in the direction Field Reporter Jim was pointing, zooming in on two strange yellowish giants that were similar to horses and tall as trees. For the first time since they had arrived, Jim felt peace. Something told him that this creature meant them no harm. He nodded at Jim excitedly. This was the interview they had been looking for.

Field Reporter Jim grinned and scurried away, latching onto the fence blocking them from the long-necked horses and beginning to climb. Once he was on top, he fit his microphone into a belt loop and held out his hands, “Toss up the camera, Jim! We must hurry before their equine instincts kick in and take them to the far reaches of Montana!”

Cameraman Jim flung the camera up to Jim and clambered up next to him. They took a moment to stare at the wondrous horses before they tumbled back to the ground. Field Reporter Jim rolled to his feet, staying in a crouched position as he held a finger to his lips, “We must be quiet, Jim. Horses are famous for their quick wits and even quicker reflexes. We must remember the wise words of Mother Jim and be very Jim.”

They slowly crept towards the long-necked horses. Field Reporter Jim muttered into his microphone, “These mutated horses are true abominations of nature. They are covered in large brown spots as if their skin could not decide what color it wanted to be. Perhaps they met Spotty Jim and decided to copy his look. But even odder are their heads. They are thinner than a horse’s, with impossibly long tongues they appear to use to lick leaves. And look, Jim, the tongues are blue! And they have horns, Jim! This creature couldn’t possibly be natural! It must be an amalgamation of creatures! But who would create such a thing? Perhaps that is what we are to discover!”

Once they reached the hooves of one of the horses, they looked up and up at it. Without a word, Field Reporter Jim jumped onto the creature and began to crawl up on of its long legs, hoisting himself onto its back. The creature stopped licking the leaves and turned its head to stare at him.

Jim held perfectly still, “The creature has spotted me, Jim. I do not know how, as I have followed the rules that Sneaky Jim and Mother Jim set down for all hiding Jims, but nonetheless, I am staring directly into the eye of the beast and it is staring back. This may be the last report I ever give. If so, I wish all of my regards to Jim.”

Cameraman Jim zoomed in on Field Reporter Jim’s face before moving the camera to the creature’s dark eyes. He flicked between the two, waiting impatiently for one of them to break. Eventually, the mutated horse turned back to its leaves and continued its previous licking.

They both let out sighs of relief. Then Cameraman Jim followed Jim onto the creature. However, once he was on the creature’s back, he realized a fatal error in their plan. He gestured to Jim’s microphone then up to the creature’s head.

“You are right, Jim. We cannot interview the creature from here.” Jim’s eyebrows furrowed in determination. “We must go higher. Follow me, Jim!”

Field Reporter Jim scampered onto the creature’s long neck, wrapping his legs and arms around it and vaulted himself up. Once he was close enough to the creature’s head that he could hold his microphone to its mouth, he began the interview, “Mutated horse, how did you come to be?

Were you born in the natural manner of blood, fire, and brimstone, as all Jims are born? Or were you created by the whims of a mad scientist? Please, odd creature, give us your secrets.”

He barely got the first question out when there was a sudden drop in temperature. Cameraman Jim looked around in confusion. The sun was still out and the weather hadn’t changed. Was Weatherman Jim playing pranks on them? Then he saw it.

On the other side of the fence, almost hidden by the trees, stood the demon. He looked most displeased and a quick camera zoom on his powerful glare confirmed that he was not happy. Cameraman Jim looked to Field Reporter Jim frantically and began to wave his arms, forgetting for a moment to keep the camera focused.

Field Reporter Jim noticed his movements and turned to his source of panic. Immediately, he was scrambling back down the creature’s neck, “Demon, Jim! The demon found us! We must run, Jim. Run!”

They leaped from the creature’s back and took off running.

Dark watched them scuttle through the giraffe’s enclosure and rubbed a hand down his face. He turned to Wilford, who was gaping at the elephants on the other side of the path, “Wil, why did you think it was a good idea to bring the Jims?”

Wilford shrugged, “They looked bored. Plus, I was tired of cleaning up their messes. Besides, what’s the worse they could do? The way I see it, as long as they don’t let out the lions, there’s nothing to worry about!”

Dark opened his mouth to reply but a loud, angry roar interrupted him. The panicked squawks of the Jims quickly followed. Dark settled a heavy glower on Wilford.

The mustached man smiled sheepishly then raced away, hollering, “JIM!”

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on my tumblr, theawkwardladyjay, or scream at me on here. I'll scream back, promise.


End file.
